Wednesday, January 12, 2005

7000 Words

This writing thing is a strange little bugger. The last few weeks, I've done most of my pages during down time at work. I do believe that the quality of the writing suffers a little bit because of this, as I'm more uptight at work. It's not the most inspiring place to get creative stuff done, but doing so has been a good exercise in discipline for me, and has helped keep me on track with my weekly goal.

Still, it's sort of baffling to me how sometimes it takes me all day to eek out even a single page. I'll stare at the screen for hours trying to come up with one sentence (FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, PLEASE JUST ONE SENTENCE!), and when I do, it's crap, and I want to punch myself. And then so on and so on for each additional sentence until somehow a page has begrudgingly appeared. On other days, today being one of them, I'll have finished a page before lunch, and actually like most of what I've written, at least enough to not want to inflict bodily harm upon myself.

What causes a good writing day and what causes a bad one seems not to have to do with my mood, my hunger level, or whether or not I've washed my hair in the morning. It seems to be dependent on absolutely nothing, really, which is why the bafflization occurs. I shouldn't be surprised about this, since really it's not the only thing in my life that comes and goes for no reason whatsoever (my darling depression being the other), and I've gotten over my curiosity about that. I guess I just need to treat this the same way: be happy for the easy days, and grateful for what the hard days teach me.

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