In California, it's not really possible, except perhaps in December or January, to decide on a Monday that you'd like to go camping the following weekend and have anything successful result. The campgrounds (and there don't seem to be as many as one would think there'd be in a state with so much wilderness) fill up very quickly, months upon months in advance.

Today I'm aching for a far out of doors get away, for the calm that only that kind of thing can bring, and I wish I could make that happen this weekend. If only I had known in February that I'd be feeling blue this last week of August, maybe I could.

And Improved

A. and I have updated the photography site to include our latest wedding (you've seen a couple of the pictures in previous posts here). I'm really proud of how this one went, and excited to see what kind of response we get from potential clients who visit the site. Click on the title of this post if you'd like to take a look.

One thing that surprised me a little about the photographs from this wedding was realizing how much I still like film better than digital. My new digital camera, as dear as it is to me and as much as it has expanded my photographic horizons, still can't compare to the truly lovely quality that film produces.

Hooray!

Congratulations to my cousin J. on her new job.
She's going to be an amazing teacher.
Those are some lucky fifth graders.

Out Of Place

On Monday night as I parked my car on the street behind my building, I noticed a large but young looking bird land on top of another car. Though I haven't seen a hawk in several years, I used to see them all the time when I was in college in Kansas. I was pretty sure, getting out of my car and walking slowly toward the bird, that I was looking at a baby hawk. It had the hooked beak of a hawk, the yellow legs (feathery at the top) of a hawk, and the squared tail feathers of a hawk. Most key, it had the same distinguished, determined face of other hawks I've seen.

At first I wished I had my camera, as is my first instinct whenever I see something out of the ordinary that affects me. But sometimes its better to just take in the moment as it is, and rely on your own eyes and memory to do the job. I followed him around as he flew from car to car and finally into a tree. I was so in awe of him that I wanted to see where he would go next, but was careful to keep my distance in case he was scared. He seemed so out of place in my neighborhood, among the pigeons and crows who hover on the wires, and I wondered if he felt as lost as he looked.

I hope not. I hope he knew where he was going, and that he's there now.

The good life has sprinkles on top.

Happy birthday, handsome.

happy birthday
Originally uploaded by sweetmondaygirl.

Dashing

There's something so stirring about looking at old family photos. This one is of my grandpa and his cousin, probably from sometime in the 1940s. In it he looks so much like my cousin Bronson who died a few years ago. When I see this picture, it comforts me and makes me smile, and for a moment it allows me to imagine Bronson growing into a handsome old man just like my grandpa has.

Second Act

Last week I didn't write a single word of the book. I don't know if it was finally reaching page one hundred that made me feel I deserved some sort of break, or if I was just too wrapped up in prepping for the wedding. I alternated both of these excuses in my mind all week.

Today I'm starting back in and realizing that the truth of it is that I'm just in a really difficult part of the story. I hate writing middles. I think I'm pretty good at beginnings and endings, but there's something so intimidating and complicated about writing the bulk of the story, the gut of it, that I'm nearly paralyzed by it. I wish I could rush on to page two hundredandwhatever and be done with the draft.

I tend to be this way about most things in my life. I'm always uncomfortable with the inbetween. I like to be going somewhere, or to have just arrived. The rest I'm often baffled by and anxious about. The only upside to this is that usually my unrest causes me to (eventually, often much later than I should) take action.

So on to one hundred and one.

It's always shocking to me, whether I'm there as a guest or as the photographer, how fast weddings go by. So much build up for a day that passes so amazingly quickly. I asked April if she had regrets about anything on her wedding day, and her only one was that she wished they'd had more time to just soak it up and enjoy it as it was happening. I'm sure most couples feel the same way. I hope when I get married someday, I'm able to remember to breathe it in a bit.

wedded

wedded
Originally uploaded by sweetmondaygirl.

Another

favorite
Originally uploaded by sweetmondaygirl.

April & I have another wedding to shoot tomorrow. It feels good to know I'll be spending the day doing something infintely more important than I do on 99% of my other work days.

Hopefully I'll have some pretty pictures to share with all of you here next week.

what i love

what you love
Originally uploaded by sweetmondaygirl.

made chicken tikka masala the other night and my hands smelled of garlic for a couple days afterward, reminding me of how my dad's cooking made the kitchen smell while i was growing up. like home, like comfort.

finally made it to page one hundred of the book. haven't printed it all out yet, but am eager to. want to feel the full weight of it in my hands.

filling up photo albums from last summer. pictures that didn't get touched when i was sad, struggling with the break up. now they are going into books in the order in which i grab them. attempting to be less particular and precious in my arranging of things, and just enjoying each for what it is and where it falls.