Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Gary Mode

Back when G. and I worked at the same company, I would often get my feelings hurt when he had his work face on around me. We called his work face "Gary Mode." (Apologies to the Garys of the world, but I just don't dig that name.) I knew it was necessary at times, but I still got overly sensitive about him not acting like MY G. from the hours of 8 to 8.

Right now, I myself am constantly in Gary Mode, constantly just the slightest bit chilly and annoyed. I think I'm even in Gary Mode when I sleep because I haven't been having any memorable dreams, as if I can't be bothered to let my mind wander even then. There was a brief snip of time, at dinner on Saturday with G, A & H where I think I snapped out of it for a second, but other than that, I seem to have lost my ability to relax and be normal. This week it hit me that the wedding is suddenly getting CLOSE. But it's not the wedding that's causing my stifled emotions. It's all the other stuff. But I'm fearful of not being able to get into a more relaxed, more "feeling" state of mind before the wedding day actually arrives. I'm worried I'll wake up on June 17th with my to do list running through my head rather than my wedding vows.

I wish I were doing a better job of soaking this up right now. Any suggestions on how to chill the heck out?


Aunt Jan said...

Darlin', what's the worst that could happen? Even if something goes horribly awry, at the end of the day, you'll be married. And truth be known, no one else will even know that the thing has gone awry. Everything will be just fine.

Anonymous said...

I wish I had some deep words of wisdom to offer you, but all I can say is "This too shall pass", and one look at that handsome man waiting for you to come down the aisle and you will forget all these worries.

I love you,

Lena said...

ha!- it's so funny to hear from other people whose parents tried to give them knock-off cabbage patch dolls! you're so right, you can't fool a 4 year old!

i got married last august, but i can't think of any great advice for you either... i think as you wrap things up and the day gets closer you'll start to relax... and then the celebrations will start... and you'll be having so much fun you won't think about the to-do list anymore.


Zoanna said...

Weddings that go just right don't exist. I've been to enough (and so have you) to say that the ones that went nearly perfectly were nearly boring. I say get yourself a 12 inch robot that sings "All Shook Up" by Elvis. And also try just one of the things suggested on my latest post when you board your next elevator. That would chill the heck out of Dodge.