Tuesday, May 02, 2006
Back when G. and I worked at the same company, I would often get my feelings hurt when he had his work face on around me. We called his work face "Gary Mode." (Apologies to the Garys of the world, but I just don't dig that name.) I knew it was necessary at times, but I still got overly sensitive about him not acting like MY G. from the hours of 8 to 8.
Right now, I myself am constantly in Gary Mode, constantly just the slightest bit chilly and annoyed. I think I'm even in Gary Mode when I sleep because I haven't been having any memorable dreams, as if I can't be bothered to let my mind wander even then. There was a brief snip of time, at dinner on Saturday with G, A & H where I think I snapped out of it for a second, but other than that, I seem to have lost my ability to relax and be normal. This week it hit me that the wedding is suddenly getting CLOSE. But it's not the wedding that's causing my stifled emotions. It's all the other stuff. But I'm fearful of not being able to get into a more relaxed, more "feeling" state of mind before the wedding day actually arrives. I'm worried I'll wake up on June 17th with my to do list running through my head rather than my wedding vows.
I wish I were doing a better job of soaking this up right now. Any suggestions on how to chill the heck out?
Posted by Lindsey at 2:01 PM