On certain days, for swift, fleeting moments, I'll get a little cocky about the pace I'm managing to move at right now. The full time day job, the equally full time photography work, the getting the new apartment ready to move into, the planning of the wedding. But the reality is that in all the other many, many moments, I'm not dealing with it all that well. I'm tired, and feel like I'm loosing my mind, and about eighty times a day I think to myself that I can't keep up this pace. I'm not good at being stretched this thin. It leaves me feeling like a child, caught between wanting to stomp my foot on the ground or burst into tears. Recently, on a walk home from the market with G., I did both.
But underneath the layer of exhaustion and annoyance, I'm happy, not depressed, and that's such a wonderous new turn for me that I'm trying to stay focused on that, whenever I can catch a quiet moment to do so.
5 comments:
On that wonderful honeymoon trip you have planned, you will get completely refreshed and rejuvenated, and come home a new person.
Grandma
Make time for yourself if only for a few minutes and breath deep and relax to a beautiful song and do take time to smell those roses:)lovemom
I'm so glad to hear you know that deep down you're happy, not depressed. Are you good at delegating and just letting some things go altogether. Remember, no matter what happens, at the end of the wedding day, you'll be married.
PS Just wanted you to know I've been studying your "portfolio" and have begun to imitate your style of getting really close-up shots. I LOVE the pictures I've been taking since then.
Oh, I remember those tearful days. Soon tears of happiness will replace those of frustration. It's all worth it!
Megan
It's great to hear you are happy and not depressed, and despite your frustration at being tired and having so much on, you can keep focussed on that. It's the one thing we all strive for and I'm so pleased you've reached that goal!
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